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The Best Ever Book of Psychic Jokes

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My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That's my stepladder,” he said. "I never knew my real ladder.” If you’ve ever had a father (or currently are one), you don’t need me to explain a Dad Joke. To paraphrase US Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when expounding on how to identify pornography in 1964, you’ll know it when you see it. Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coluoring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

Hilarious Psychic Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.” What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.” The Tower suddenly starts ripping out the original light fitting so he can create a whole new more basic look. What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding half a worm. They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Well, not if it’s poisoned. Then the antidote becomes the most important.When I saw a psychic, a mystic, a palm reader, and a fortune teller all laughing together at something I couldn't understand, then I realized it was an insight joke! I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked if it was to scale. "No," I said. "It's to look at." My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby. The judge asked, “What do you plead?” I said, “Insanity, your honor, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?” – Steven Wright

Jokes - Psychic Jokes Fortune Teller Jokes - Psychic Jokes

A friend showed me a funny steak pun the other day. I must say, steak puns are truly a rare medium well done. Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.” The Star marvels at new beginnings and says how much she's looking forward to having the light working again. I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint… it was in a shape of a house.” – Steven Wright

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What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment. Freud, S. (1905). Jokes and their relation to the unconscious. The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud, vol 8, 1–247. I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support windows. Short psychic puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The psychic humour may include short clairvoyant jokes also. In fact, if you sneer at any other method of measuring liquids, you may be held in contempt of quart.

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